Do It Afraid
Last Thursday, we talked about fear and courage. So we were asked, “What are you afraid of?”
At some point, I was afraid and yet I was able to face the fear courageously.
Raised in a conservative family, I was scared when I found out that I am pregnant and worst I have to face it alone. I have to stand by my principles and beliefs and do what for me is right. It took a lot of practicing on how I will tell my parents that they will be grandparents and I will be a single mom. At that time, I know that I will be under the microscope again. It’s also called the sad reality of life but that’s how it is. That’s life, sometimes trials happen. In time, God will let me know the reason why.
OVERCOMING YOUR FEAR AND DOING IT THE RIGHT WAY
All problems have solution but the question is: Are we making the right choice? Are we solving our problem the right way?
I never had to think twice. I know from the start that I want this child. No matter what people around me will say. A friend once said, “it's not about what they will say, it's about what you feel, what you want, what will make you happy and what you think is right." I can say that I made the right decision. I solved my problem the right way. I realized that There are many couples in our society who’s having a hard time having a baby; spending all their money just to have one and here I am given this blessing and won’t accept it?
I knew then that I will be scrutinized, judged and ridiculed. Its part of this world we live in, the society surrounding us. I can take all that because that does not compare to the joy this little blessing will give me
According to Brother Randy, our fear is like a door and when you have the courage to open the door it will show you the answer. Agree, I had to face the sturdiest door, and when I had the courage to open the door. It feels like I saw the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow: My son.
After I gave birth, I embraced the joy of Motherhood. I was given the gift of life and there is no one else who is responsible of this innocent and defenseless life but me. I am the only one who can fight for the life of my child. I will do it no matter what the world throws at me because I know it’s all worth it.
Just to make things clear. I am not encouraging other young women to get pregnant unmarried. No. In the eyes of God I have committed a sin. But I am not covering it up by committing another. I am here standing up for what I did. Because when this happened to me, reality kicked in. It’s happening to young women around me. I am not alone; I am not the first single mom in this cruel world. There are many women who are scared and never knew what to do. Women who are left by their coward, immature partners to face this battle alone. This is how life can be. We always have the power and right to choose the way we want to live it.
Trials will keep on coming my way. i know that for sure. God is always on time, he is never late and rarely early. So I know in his time Addy will ask, “Mommy, what happened? Where’s my dad” and when that day comes I know that will be another door that I have to face courageously.
So I will be leaving this note open ended. How will I overcome that door this time?