Posts tagged motherhood
Parenting | The Power of A Praying Parent

Pour out your heart like water before the face of the Lord. Lift your hands toward Him for the life of your young children.


Do you believe that prayers do wonders?

Do you believe that prayers are wonderful?

Do you believe that we should also pray for our kids?

If you answered, Yes, then this is for you!

Since I shared before the ebook of 

The Power of A Praying Wife

 of course, we parents want to also pray for our kids.

So here you may download the ebook by clicking the title -> 

The Power of A Praying Parent

How Much Does It Cost To Give Birth?

Last March 2016, I gave birth at Makati Medical Plaza. I was so grateful that my OB Dra Joanne De Grano-Marave is very kind. Roughly, Normal delivery can ranges from 120-160k at that time but my OB offered a package for PHP 75,000. What's included?

  • 2 days semi private room stay

  • Delivery room fee

  • Baby care fee

  • OB fee

  • Pedia fee

  • Anesthesiologist fee

Last April, I gave birth to our 3rd child. Normal delivery now ranges from 150k-200k. Our package now is at PHP 113,000 but unlike with Arriana, we choose to stay in a small private room for a bigger space. It also includes the following:

  • 2 days small private room stay

  • Delivery room fee

  • Baby care fee

  • OB fee

  • Pedia fee

  • Anesthesiologist fee

Semi private VS Small Private

For semi private, well the room is smaller. No private bathroom 

For small private, bigger room, private bathroom and a mini fridge

Now, Makati Medical Center also provides toiletries. During Arriana's time, they don't have this yet.

MMC toiletries Slippers, pillows not in the photo

I am thankful to have my OB and my friends know this, I would always recommend Dra Joanne to everyone. She lives nearby. She answers query even outside the country. Note that not all doctors offer this package. So please, ASK.  Even my Anes, I love her because she took care of me like her own.

Overall, I love my experience with Makati Medical Center. :) I can't wait to write more about my journey with Amanda. I will be blogging my birth story soon, so watch out!

Breastfeeding | #TheStruggleIsREAL
 Just to be clear, No! I am no expert when it comes to breastfeeding. Just like the rest, I had to read a lot of articles and forums while I was pregnant. I am just lucky to have friends who had successful breastfeeding journeys. They are my great support system. 

Back in 2009, Addy was considered premature in size because in Canada they follow of course the average size for Canadian babies. Addy had to mixed feed because he was jaundice and I gave birth winter time so no luck to sun bathe him. 

So with Arriana, I want to breastfeed her full time while I can. As early as 3 months, I was preparing for it. I want to ensure that my birth plan will be followed accordingly even post partum. I am glad that Makati Medical Center is a breastfeeding advocate hospital. They follow the DOH protocol so this means, NO BOTTLES, NO BREAST PUMPS allowed.

After giving birth, I am lucky according to our pedia because Arriana latches perfectly right away. A lactation consultant also went to visit us to teach me proper latching positions. I stayed overnight in the hospital and the next day, I am ready to go home but not Arriana. Arriana had to stay for a day or two depending on how she will respond with photosynthesis. 

Luckily, we just stay another day and on Arriana's 3rd day, we were able to go home. So my breastfeeding journey begins! I am so excited to go home because I will be able to spend time with Kuya Addy also. I am excited to pump, to build my stash and so on. I thought it is easy peasy as I see my friends doing it perfectly and yes, glamorously.


It was challenging. It was painful! I was in constant tears at night due to pain. I can feel the pain traveling from my shoulders to my spine down to my waist and hips. Add that, I was exhausted from the constant feeding. My scoliosis is always acting up that leaves me with back pain. 

I was up all night feeding Arriana. I was hungry and thirsty all the time. It came to a point wherein I was saying it aloud, Inumin ko kaya itong alcohol? (What if I drink this alcohol?) 

Arriana will sleep for two hours but then I really can't sleep. I know, sabi nila pag tulog ang baby, sabayan mo.s(Sleep while the baby is sleeping) but that's also my time to pee, to take a bath, to attend to Addy, to eat, to wash Arriana's diaper cloth and so on.

Arriana keeps on crying even if I have enough supply of milk. Yes, so it makes me wonder what is wrong because definitely, it's not the supply. I only took supplements if I am on stress because it interferes with my milk supply but overall I have overflowing milk to a point that I'll wake up with ants crawling on me. (This part is not funny. Another reason for me not to sleep while she sleeps)

I checked on if she's latching properly. Yes, she does. I changed position countless of times. Check if she needs to be changed or probably she feels too hot or too cold. She may be colicky, gassy or she just wants to held. After all, she was inside my tummy for 9 months. Imagine how small her space was before compare to an entire bed or crib. In short, my Arriana was just adjusting.

Of course, there are times that she just wants to sleep. I had to follow the 2-3 hours feeding rules so I had to time her naps and wakes her up. There are times that she won't wake up that I had to undress her just to nurse her. There are times that I go to the washroom to pee once a day! yes, ONCE A DAY!

One time, while my partner was at work. I asked Kuya Addy to look after Arriana while she's sleeping. Yes, bath time for mommy. 

Five minutes later....

Kuya: Mommy, gising na si baby, umiiyak! (Mommy, baby is awake and crying!)
Me: Wait, I'm not yet done
Kuya: Mas importante pa ba pag ligo kesa kay baby? ( is taking a bath more important than baby?)

And a lot more stories which I can share on the coming days. But guess what? I am still exclusively breastfeeding Arriana. After a while it gets better. For me, I think after a month, I already get her rhythm when it comes to feeding. 

I am very proud and grateful to be able to breastfeed Arriana until now. I wish and pray that I can continue so until she wants to.

So if you are in the current situation, hang in there mommy! That shall pass also! 

For those who are not breastfeeding, I know you have your own reasons. Do not worry. It doesn't mean you're a bad mom. It does not make you any less of a mom. You are so blessed to be able to have a child as a blessing. As long as your baby is FED that is all that matters!

What is your breastfeeding experience or struggles?

Happy Breastfeeding month! 

Parenting | Arriana Janelle

So we welcome my second child named Arriana Janelle. For those who know my back story, I always wanted the name Arriana. If Addy was a girl her name will be Arriana Laurene. But as we all know, Addy is a boy. See what happened to Kuya Addy's name here

Fast forward 2015, when I finally knew the gender of my second baby, I am 100% sure that her name will be Arriana. Whenever someone asks if I already have a name, I would say," Yes,  Arriana." Everyone will always say, Arriana Grande? I will just smile politely and say "No, it's after my mom who's name is Arrian"

Arriana means Holy 

Since we already have Laurene in the family we had to search for the perfect second name that will compliment the name Arriana. 

Since my first born's initials is A E, I was thinking of having the same for Arriana so I thought of Arriana Elisse as her name. 

Elisse means Promised of God. 

However, my partner wants the second name to start with letter J since his name starts with J. With respect to my partner, I said yes to a second name that starts with letter J. Believe me, it was hard as I don't want the ordinary Jen, Jenny, Jane, Janet names. (No offense to people who has these names)

After months of searching, we finally have a second name!

Janelle means God is gracious. 

With everything that I've been through while pregnant; God is indeed gracious to me and to Arriana. It was the perfect second name. Thanks to a batchmate from high school who suggested the name when I was crowd sourcing in facebook.

I pray that Arriana will always live by her name. 
I want her to be reminded that God is gracious no matter what the circumstances are.
I want her to try her best to be holy or to be like Jesus to everyone.

Til next time!


When I became a mom six years ago today I had no idea. No idea at all what it meant to love someone so much more than you ever thought possible. You made me feefl like the luckiest person on earth. To have such a beautiful and sweet baby boy to love and to watch grow.

And grow you have.

I can’t believe how fast you’ve become such a smart, funny, sweet and special young man.

Thank you for taking care of Mommy whenever I am sick. Thank you for hugging Mommy whenever I get upset. Thank you for loving Mommy. Thank you for understanding whenever mommy says, "next time anak, we have to save money"

Sometimes you may drive me nuts with your silliness.

I can’t help but wish time moved slower. Now, you really don't like it whenever we hug or kiss you. I wish I could bottle your smile and your innocence and have your small hands wrapped in my arms forever. I’m not ready for this.

Six is cool, don’t get me wrong, but it means that when Summer is over you’ll be in First Grade and I won’t have you like I do now. In a blink, we will be there. How can I pause time and fill my well with all these great memories?

you can be remarkably sensitive, and your keen memory for detail serves you well here. You have demonstrated an awareness of what’s going on in a room, with other people, that’s often taken me aback. You have wept for missing friends, places, and stages of your life, your tangible heartbreak seeming to emanate from a much older and more mature person. I have learned the sounds of a tender beating heart when you were willing to give up presents in order to help boys and girls in need. It takes a while to earn your trust, but once that is done it is tenacious and sturdy.

On this very special day, I pray that God’s favor, love, peace, mercy and grace will follow you every single day of your life. You were created to change the world for good and to put a smile on the faces of all mankind. I pray that you will be a solution provider, a source of joy for all and a chronic lover of God. You shall be the head and never the tail. Nations will come to you for solutions to their problems and you will be the pillar they will lean on. They will identify the grace of God on your life.

I promise to put you on the right path to greatness following only God’s plan for your life. Not my plan...God’s plan.

Thank you for being a source of strength to us. You are like a 20 year old stuck in the body of a 6 year old kid. You are not just a son but a great friend. You always make sure there is a smile on my face and even when I scold you for running around inside the house (because you know its a law. No running in the house!) with tears in your eyes, you still do silly things that make me burst into uncontrollable laughter. I am grateful to God for giving me a son like you. 

At just 6 years old, you have already made me a proud mother. When you brought home your certificate of excellence from school as the top student in class, you were scared when you saw tears in my eyes. Addy, those were tears of joy because you are fulfilling all the promises God has made over your life.

Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Never be afraid to fall. But always remember that in every mistake made, there is a lesson to be learnt. Whenever you fall, there must be something you need to pick up from the floor that will help you as you get up and continue your journey through life. In life, you will make mistakes but always make sure that there is a serious lesson learnt from that mistake so you don’t make the same one again. It’s important that you not only learn from your mistakes, but also from the mistakes that others have made.

Value friendship. Good friendship. Never be selfish in your relationship with people. What you cannot tolerate, don’t do to others. Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Learn to say no when you have to say no so you don’t get entangled in commitments that will become a burden to you eventually. Don’t let anybody change the core of who you are. Don’t let circumstances or the world destroy the purity of your heart.

The world is a complicated place to live in. Not because God made it so, but because the humans in it have made it complicated. In all you do, look for the beauty in the world, the honesty and the positive. Living in a complicated and struggling world does not mean you have to struggle and be complicated. Don’t get caught up in their vices. Don’t get involved with the madness around you. Fix your eyes on the positive. Fix your eyes on God. Greatness awaits you Addy. I have seen it. I can feel it. I know it.

When you look back on these words in Twenty years, I need you to know that they are from the heart of a woman who is so proud to be your mother.

Addy, you have touched the lives of everyone around you with your honesty, your purity, your smile and your dance moves. May God never take his eyes off you and may His peace always be with you. Happy Birthday Addy and I love you more than words can ever express.

I am always in your corner, Anak. I’m the loudest cheerleader, the proudest mom, and the one who is always crying over how blessed she knows she is.

Please don’t forget that I’m your favorite girl.

Mommy Ley
A Woman Is Now A Mom
I remember vividly the moment that I became a mother. Not in the physical sense, but in the spiritual sense.

It wasn’t the moment of conception, or the day that I found out that I was pregnant. It wasn’t when I felt the first kick of my precious addy’s little foot, nor was it when they lifted him and placed him in my arms, still wet and screaming after his exit from my womb. It was in a moment of blinding joy the evening after he was born.

I tried to rest that first night, after giving birth, but I couldn't sleep. While kirsten is in her la la la land already, I kept my baby with me most of the time.. I counted his fingers and toes. I nursed him. I started writing in my small notebook all information about Addy. Later that night I nursed himr to sleep and put hir in the bedside bassinet. I turned off the lights and climbed into bed after checking on him several times, just to make sure he's okay. Then I got back up and just stared at him. I felt as if my heart swelled several sizes and then I burst into tears. I was absolutely overwhelmed by the need to protect him, love him and do whatever was necessary to make sure he was perfectly happy. I tried thinking of a name because what i have is for a baby girl. I checked him again, just to make sure he's sleeping, he's fine. I texted everyone in the Philippines, States and even friends in Saudi and Oman.

The world seemed to stop spinning; only ADDY and I existed. Nothing else mattered.

And after 6 months, I realized that of all the things I've done in my life, nothing feels more important than the responsibility of raising a person brimming with self-confidence, the ability to love and the desire to contribute to society.

I am proud that my little one has never known a moment without love. A he grows older, he may not always recognize that love comes in a variety of forms: he may gripe about limited TV viewing, or roll his eyes at the thank-you and welcome letter that I insisted winnipeg people to write during my babyshower. But one day, my son will get it.

Being a mom feels like the most important job in the entire world. In effect, I can create a masterpiece! Sure, my son comes with genetic material that controls more than we know, but I have the awesome ability to direct those inborn traits to their fullest potential.

I can't be perfect at motherhood. But the well-being of my child demands that I always do my best. One day he will blossom into a man who is in charge of his own destiny, and is appreciative of the life he has been given -- if I do my job right.

If I could, I'd put "mommy" on my resume, because nothing has taught me as much responsibility, or given me as many new skills, as 9.10 kg wonder named ADDY -- who is now eating fresh mangoes, biscuits, and crawling around the house.

The most rewarding, and surprising, thing about motherhood is how much I can affect the future, even after I am gone. My son will one day graduate from climbing the dining room table to scaling much greater heights. And a lot of that is up to me.
On Being A Single Mom
It's long been assumed that motherhood brings meaning to our lives. We guide, love, nurture and support our offspring and sometimes feel appreciated in return -- all elements that can fuel our connectedness and satisfaction in the world. It's easy to find meaningful moments as a mom, but it's when things are tough that it seems we don't know how to interpret what meaning is. What if the greatest reward and meaning of being a mother is the growth our children force us to do?

Being a parent is a very hard job no matter how you slice it, but to further the true blessing that children are is to work equally hard on being conscious and mindful of the growth our kids call forth in us. Perhaps your patience needs work or your critical side needs to be quieted or you need to learn compassion or you could stand to give up some perfectionism. Parenting in a kind and loving way can only come if we face these issues in ourselves. Maybe this is the true meaning behind being in relationship with these souls.

As a parent, you accept from the start that it is all your fault. Every last inhibition, weakness and thing that goes wrong in your child's life is down to you -- however old they are. If they get bullied, bully, pick the wrong course at university or marry the wrong girl, it is all because you did it wrong. As a parent -- deep-down, you know you suck. You know it is not the kid's fault (however old the kid is) -- you made a hash of it.

I don't know it I am making sense here, I just feel like writing, writing randomly. Just whatever, probably I am back to reality that I have to face this journey alone. well, not really alone because I have my adorable ADDY with me.

I then realized. being a parent is really hard. Now, i imagine what my parents went through. Albeit, being a single parent is harder. You have to work twice as much. You have to work 24/7, there's no rest day, no salary, no lunch breaks,  no meeting, but it's full of overtime, of sacrifices for ADDY, of love for ADDY. After 6's sinking in....

It's hard because not all people can understand or willing to understand probably because they can't feel the things that i am going through...or any mothers are going through. I guess they have to be a mother first before they understand.

and as i am writing this senseless note..... someone send me an email......

"She Reminds Us"
by/with Mike Greca
Dedicated to all mothers

In mothers arms a baby sleeps
She swears she hears an angel breathe
Baby wakes and hungrily
By mammas breast the baby feeds

She Reminds Us
That love can conquer anything

Daddy's left them all alone
Always drinks but never phones
But she'll make sure her baby grows
If it's the last thing in life she ever does

She Reminds Us
That love can conquer anything
She reminds us
There are some things only wider eyes can see

Boy he grows
By mammas love
And mamma knows
That heaven above
Gives its angels just enough
Though daddy could not give
Mamma loves him twice as much to cover it
And the boy he grows.....

Days than years go flyin' by
And mamma's still working overtime
Makin sure her little boy becomes
Twice the man his father never was

She reminds us
There are some things only wider eyes can see
She reminds us
That love can conquer anything
Mamma loves, and her love is loud
Boy he grows into a man strong and proud
Mamma loves, and her love is loud
She reminds us that love can conquer anything

here's the video link for the song lyrics....

after watching the video......i realized that my eyes are heart is pounding.....

to all the mothers out proud of you....i hope one day i can be proud of myself as well..

Mother's Love
One of my favorite quotes is this: "Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." Elizabeth Stone

As soon as I had my first child, I learned that as soon as that baby makes its appearance in the world you must start letting go. I remember being pregnant with Adrian, and having that security knowing how safe he was inside of me. That bond that you have with that little one, the little kicks that only you can feel, the flips and the flops, the stomping on your bladder....I remember despite the joy of the moment of finally getting to hold the baby in my arms, being a little sad knowing that my child would never be so close and so safe inside me again.Knowing that we now have to face all the cruelness in te world. So in a way it was a bitter-sweet moment for me.

Being a mom has taught me so much in the short 3 months that I have been at it. It has taught me that my heart is indeed capable of limitless love. Being a mother to someone requires patience, love, understanding, and the realization that being a mother is not an easy task. You have to be a comforter, a booboo kisser, a tickler, a get the monster out of the closet exterminator, a bug squishier, a chef, a Martha Stewart clone, cool, a personal shopper, a chauffeur, and so many other things. you will cry with them when they have to go to the ER because of high fever or mild asthma. you will change a million diapers, you will wonder when you'll get to use the bathroom alone again.

I believe someone once said that motherhood is the hardest job for which one never gets paid. But I believe that we do get paid. The currency is just a little different. Instead of dollars and cents, we receive hugs and kisses. In place of a bonus or raise, we get a cuddle, or an “I love you.” We don’t have a yearly review. Instead we get that warm fuzzy feeling when our child masters a skill, or does something to make us very proud. Unlike the stock-market, we invest in our children with our time, our teachings, and our love. And the return is ten-fold. The “boss,” or our children, may not notice our hard work. Yet we keep “clocking-in.” Why? Because this is the most important job that we will ever have. We may want to call in sick sometimes. But we won’t get fired. We won’t quit.

I can't wait til my little boy can say those words to me... "i love you mommy"
hayhay i love you baby boy
Oh No, It's A Boy!

I was surprised to know that my baby is a boy. Don't get me wrong, I am happy! However, I was pretty convinced that my baby will be a girl. So convinced that I prepared for a baby girl's name (Arriana Laurene) BUT I DO NOT HAVE A NAME FOR A BOY!

During my 9 months of being pregnant, I never had the lihi (cravings or pregnancy symptoms) I never had morning sickness. I never had dark spots. I was blooming. I was happy despite my current situation. So everyone will say, Oh, It's a girl! (ay, babae yan!)

But since it is pretty expensive here in Canada, I decided not to know the gender in advance. So here I am, surprised by my baby's gender.

I have to go home the morning after. Yes, I technically stayed 24 hours in the hospital. I have to think of a name pronto!

My baby boy's name is ADRIAN ENRICO!

Adrian from my Mom Arrian (change the 2nd R to D)
Enrico from my Dad Enrico


His nickname will be Addy. It was given by my Aunti Pet. Thank you Mama (Lola) Pet for a cutie nickname! see you guys soon when we get back!

My Birth Story | Labor Of Love In Winterpeg

After nine months of having a big belly while trying to exercise for easy labor and making the most out of my WINTERpeg expedition (I hate snow guys), borrowing pants from my cousins and trying to eat healthy as possible (add up the diet that I hated because of my gestational diabetes from 4months until the time I am giving birth) Finally, the long wait is over.

Giving birth is the most momentous part of pregnancy, and involves a lot of hard work, energy, and emotion. It needs support from family, friends and of course your partner. (At that time I have my aunties and uncles and some cousins in canada with me; parentals are in the Philippines)

Two weeks before I gave birth, I had brief periods of contractions that grew intense. My doctor said It is normal, it's braxton hicks. It is a sign that I am now ready anytime to give birth.

The night before the real labor, we had our usual Friday family bonding; movie, popcorn, butong pakwan, wine and beer for them. King came over and out of nowhere he just said "You'll give birth if not tomorrow, by Sunday and it will be a boy"

I smiled at him and said, "I hope so, but everyone is saying it will be a girl since nothing changed with my appearance at all" But King just smiled back at me.

Around 12midnight I crawled into bed and read a book until almost one. I had to sleep because I started palpitating   (I have Mitral valve prolapse and Mitral and Tricuspid valve regurgitation, just google the terms cause I dont want to be too medical here haha)

I woke up around 4am because I felt a little pressure, I just thought it's braxton hicks so I went back to sleep. then, I woke up again because I of the pain. I checked the time and it's 4:10am. I realized that this is it, I am in early labor.

I went back to sleep and try not to wake up after 10mins but I did. Right then, I texted my mom and told her I am in my 1st stage of labor already, my contractions are every 10mins apart.

My mom replied and she's worried and nervous as she said. So I told her, not to worry about me and just go back to sleep coz she's in the Philippines and worrying about me can't do anything. I dont want here to worry. (bad decision that I told her too soon)

The contractions continued but it was manageable its just that I wake up EVERY TIME I have contractions. Around 9am I decided to went upstairs since my cousin and aunt is awake already.
I told them "I am in labor!"

I keep on walking and walking but I am just a lazy walker.
I tried climbing on the treadmill but it makes me dizzy.
I tried to get some sleep coz I am really sleepy....(at the back of my mind, I wanted to call King! he's right...I am giving birth anytime and he's nowhere to be found ZzzzZZZzzz)

I worked through each contraction by closing my eyes and focusing on the end result: My Baby.
If it's a big or intense contraction, I hold tight to a pillow and breathe. I still manage to keep track how many mins apart my contractions was.

With Kirsten's help, we were able to record all my contractions. If it's a big contraction Kirsten will let me hold her tight (sorry cousin for the scratches) I remember her saying "Ate this isn't my job you know, but I do love you" 

Around 5pm my aunt, uncle and cousin decided to go to church since it's Saturday (Yes, we go to mass every Saturday here)

As soon as they left, I took a shower in case I will deliver my baby At least, I was able to take a shower. Take note that contractions are every 5 minutes already.

Since I am home alone with our doggie Mikko, I decided to call Tita Hazel and I told her I am having contractions every 5mins and she said loudly, "What! You should go to the hospital already crazy lady! Are you crazzzzyy?" then she shouted, "Ate Ely, Ley is in labor and contractions are every 5 minutes already and she's still home!" "Call 911 hurry"

Before everybody in their house freaks out, I told her it's just me and mikko who's home and it's okay coz they will be home soon (Nope, don't want to pay 911, I can still take it) and the pain is a bit manageable still. Although at the back of my mind, If I am in the Philippines.... I am in Makati Medical Hospital already. (hahaha)

After I spoke to Tita Hazel I had a big contraction and I just shouted "MOOOOOOMMM"
then Miko started howling, I think he's trying to get some help coz he knows I am in pain. Miko keeps on howling from time to time whenever I hold onto something tightly because of the contractions.

Around 6:15 my aunt arrived already I told her my contractions are every 5-4mins apart.
Then she observed me, she said, "You're not going to give birth anytime soon cause you can still take the pain, you might counted the minutes wrong. Look at you, you're not crying at all"  But despite that comment, I know it's soon.

Around 8pm my contractions we're 3 minutes apart but like what my aunt said I can still take the pain, I just close my eyes, hold tight to a pillow and breathe. A few mins later, My Auntie from the states called, I told her I am currently in labor with 3mins contractions apart. She said,"You should go to the hospital already because you might give birth anytime, even if you can take the pain, you need to be checked cause you don't know how many CM are you now"

So we Mama Dina monitored my contractions then we decided we will go to the hospital alreadycause YES, it is every 3 minutes apart.

Around 8:30 we left the house, we arrived at the hospital around 8:45pm. In the admitting section the lady asked few questions;
Landline number
Copy of my passport
What the hell am I doing in Canada?
Why am I giving birth there?
She told me I have to pay for everything coz I am considered as a foreign on and so on. I just want to tell her that baby is coming out really, really, soon.

Then we went to the triage already. The nurse checked my blood pressure and how far I am.
She said, "OH MY! you're 10cm already"

My Aunt and I were shocked coz I am fully dilated already. At the back of my mind, I was scared, If I stayed any longer at home I could have given birth at home! Just like what my cousin Amiel wants to happen since he is a paramedic he wants me to be his patient but like King he is nowhere to be found as well. (hahaha)

They brought me upstairs in my labor/delivery/private room.
The nurses had to be fast. They check the heartbeat of my baby, my heartbeat, my sugar level and my blood pressure. Baby is okay. But I am not. My sugar is very high as well as my blood pressure. I thought I will deliver my baby in cesarean section, but they said I can have it delivered normally since I am fully dilated already, but now it's too late for an epidural. Great! No anesthesia but do I really need it still? Cause I manage the labor part which most of the people say the hardest part.

At that point, I am having severe back pain since I have scoliosis so the nurse decided to put a warm compress on my back and it helped a lot.  After a few mins, my contractions was every 2mins, EVERYTHING BECAME INTOLERABLE.

The hustle and bustle of the nursing staff bothered me -- I wanted complete silence. "QUIET," I said. "You're doing great," replied the nurse. (imagine, I have 3 nurses in the room, plus Kirsten, Ate Michelle, Auntie Dina and Auntie Dhel. Papa Caloy and Kuya Geoff were just by the door. Oh My)

Around 10pm I can feel the urge to push. I asked the nurse, Where's the doctor? The nurses replied, "She will only come if you're crowning already"

Unbelievable, but I can feel my baby's head is down already.

The nurse asked if I wanted some pain reliever and I said No, I was able to bare the pain and I want to experience this the natural way.

She went out to get some stuff. Since I do really feel the urge to push and I cant take the pain anymore, I buzz them and told the nurses outside that I am having the baby soon.

They all hurried inside my room. The nurse decided to check me again since baby is not crowning and may water bag is still intact. Then she said "Oh, I can feel the head, it's sideways that's why she's not crowning" then accidentally she popped my waterbag.

The nurses told me to push only when there's contractions and so I followed them. One nurse checked my blood pressure and it went up to 150/90 so she decided to put IV on me. At the back of my mind, I knew something is wrong with my BP and if I am in the Philippines, I will deliver my baby in the C-section, but I tried my best to remain calm as possible. I prayed hard while pushing. I just thought soon this will be all over. as my baby's head crowns, the doctor came in, while she's putting on her gloves I had a big contraction so I pushed so hard and I really blurted out I can feel I am ripping then my baby's head is out already.

No time for my Doctor to put on her second gloves and they all shouted "stop pushing" and since I'm not fully lying down, hmmm , how do I call the position? Semi-seated/ semi lying position, I looked down, my baby's head is out already and the umbilical cord is wrapped around my baby's neck. The doctor had to remove the umbilical cord as fast as she can. (No wonder, my baby is sooo likot inside my tummy)

10:45pm, February 7, 2009 Canada time, my baby is out and IT'S A BOY! We are all surprised!!
I cried! I can;t contain my happiness! It was so surreal!

He cried for 3 seconds and as soon as he reached my chest, he stopped crying. I cried again. Finally, 9 months is over. I can be with my love, my baby boy..

Despite the tear jerking moment, I even had the chance to laugh and say King was right! I gave birth on the day he said I will and it is a boy. Now he should be a ninong.

I FELL IN LOVE THE MINUTE I SAW HIM.. The pain disappeared and I was so relieved to have him in my arms. I couldn't stop smiling. HE WAS PERFECT! He was even MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN I IMAGINED.

Sadly, I have to face this battle alone with my baby.

As I held him, the nurses and doctor had to stitched me but at that moment I can feel no pain anymore. One doctor is checking my baby's vitals while I held him close.

The doctor and nurses kept saying they were amazed because he was my first and the birth happened so fast. I was amazed I did it without drugs or any other Anesthesia. I didn't think I was capable of that. When the doctor offered me Percocet, I laughed. What? Do I need that for now?

The next day, 10AM, we were home already! As if I had a drive thru or fast food delivery but with a baby!

Next time, I will have more faith in myself. If I can have a natural, unmedicated childbirth, I can do anything. Women should have faith in themselves. Our bodies are amazing and can do anything. I have respect for all women who give birth no matter what their circumstances. Pregnancy and childbirth is an amazing thing.

Now, after a few months of having my Adrian home, I just thought that I can do everything now. I can surpass any trials that will come along our way. I was able to do it during my 18hour labor without pain reliever.


I SURVIVED THE BIRTH PROCESS, MY HEART DISEASES AND THE CRAZY GESTATIONAL DIABETES! Add up the weather! It was freezing 45 degrees when I gave birth. Hate Winnipeg weather!

I never realized, I could die at that moment. My life was at stake. but it was all WORTH IT