Posts tagged solo parent
ANC MUKHA: ANGHEL

Last January, ANC TV Show, Mukha shared a part of my life story. Honestly, I just watched it yesterday. Why? hmmm, because I was still overwhelmed by the messages that I received. At some point, another tv show wants to air a more lengthy and detailed story but I decline.

It was never easy being a single mom may it be a past or present. Yes even if it is in the past, people can still judge you and say not so nice words towards your experience. Despite of it all, I will never be ashamed of being a solo parent. I know my story will be an inspiration to others. I know many will find comfort knowing that there will always be hope.

So, for those who missed the episode, I posted a copy below. Feel free to share it if you feel that it will bless someone.

Breastfeeding | #TheStruggleIsREAL
 Just to be clear, No! I am no expert when it comes to breastfeeding. Just like the rest, I had to read a lot of articles and forums while I was pregnant. I am just lucky to have friends who had successful breastfeeding journeys. They are my great support system. 

Back in 2009, Addy was considered premature in size because in Canada they follow of course the average size for Canadian babies. Addy had to mixed feed because he was jaundice and I gave birth winter time so no luck to sun bathe him. 

So with Arriana, I want to breastfeed her full time while I can. As early as 3 months, I was preparing for it. I want to ensure that my birth plan will be followed accordingly even post partum. I am glad that Makati Medical Center is a breastfeeding advocate hospital. They follow the DOH protocol so this means, NO BOTTLES, NO BREAST PUMPS allowed.



After giving birth, I am lucky according to our pedia because Arriana latches perfectly right away. A lactation consultant also went to visit us to teach me proper latching positions. I stayed overnight in the hospital and the next day, I am ready to go home but not Arriana. Arriana had to stay for a day or two depending on how she will respond with photosynthesis. 

Luckily, we just stay another day and on Arriana's 3rd day, we were able to go home. So my breastfeeding journey begins! I am so excited to go home because I will be able to spend time with Kuya Addy also. I am excited to pump, to build my stash and so on. I thought it is easy peasy as I see my friends doing it perfectly and yes, glamorously.

BUT I WAS WRONG!

It was challenging. It was painful! I was in constant tears at night due to pain. I can feel the pain traveling from my shoulders to my spine down to my waist and hips. Add that, I was exhausted from the constant feeding. My scoliosis is always acting up that leaves me with back pain. 

I was up all night feeding Arriana. I was hungry and thirsty all the time. It came to a point wherein I was saying it aloud, Inumin ko kaya itong alcohol? (What if I drink this alcohol?) 


Arriana will sleep for two hours but then I really can't sleep. I know, sabi nila pag tulog ang baby, sabayan mo.s(Sleep while the baby is sleeping) but that's also my time to pee, to take a bath, to attend to Addy, to eat, to wash Arriana's diaper cloth and so on.


Arriana keeps on crying even if I have enough supply of milk. Yes, so it makes me wonder what is wrong because definitely, it's not the supply. I only took supplements if I am on stress because it interferes with my milk supply but overall I have overflowing milk to a point that I'll wake up with ants crawling on me. (This part is not funny. Another reason for me not to sleep while she sleeps)

I checked on if she's latching properly. Yes, she does. I changed position countless of times. Check if she needs to be changed or probably she feels too hot or too cold. She may be colicky, gassy or she just wants to held. After all, she was inside my tummy for 9 months. Imagine how small her space was before compare to an entire bed or crib. In short, my Arriana was just adjusting.

Of course, there are times that she just wants to sleep. I had to follow the 2-3 hours feeding rules so I had to time her naps and wakes her up. There are times that she won't wake up that I had to undress her just to nurse her. There are times that I go to the washroom to pee once a day! yes, ONCE A DAY!


One time, while my partner was at work. I asked Kuya Addy to look after Arriana while she's sleeping. Yes, bath time for mommy. 


Five minutes later....

Kuya: Mommy, gising na si baby, umiiyak! (Mommy, baby is awake and crying!)
Me: Wait, I'm not yet done
Kuya: Mas importante pa ba pag ligo kesa kay baby? ( is taking a bath more important than baby?)

And a lot more stories which I can share on the coming days. But guess what? I am still exclusively breastfeeding Arriana. After a while it gets better. For me, I think after a month, I already get her rhythm when it comes to feeding. 


I am very proud and grateful to be able to breastfeed Arriana until now. I wish and pray that I can continue so until she wants to.

So if you are in the current situation, hang in there mommy! That shall pass also! 

For those who are not breastfeeding, I know you have your own reasons. Do not worry. It doesn't mean you're a bad mom. It does not make you any less of a mom. You are so blessed to be able to have a child as a blessing. As long as your baby is FED that is all that matters!


What is your breastfeeding experience or struggles?

Happy Breastfeeding month! 





Parenting | Arriana Janelle




So we welcome my second child named Arriana Janelle. For those who know my back story, I always wanted the name Arriana. If Addy was a girl her name will be Arriana Laurene. But as we all know, Addy is a boy. See what happened to Kuya Addy's name here





Fast forward 2015, when I finally knew the gender of my second baby, I am 100% sure that her name will be Arriana. Whenever someone asks if I already have a name, I would say," Yes,  Arriana." Everyone will always say, Arriana Grande? I will just smile politely and say "No, it's after my mom who's name is Arrian"

Arriana means Holy 

Since we already have Laurene in the family we had to search for the perfect second name that will compliment the name Arriana. 

Since my first born's initials is A E, I was thinking of having the same for Arriana so I thought of Arriana Elisse as her name. 

Elisse means Promised of God. 

However, my partner wants the second name to start with letter J since his name starts with J. With respect to my partner, I said yes to a second name that starts with letter J. Believe me, it was hard as I don't want the ordinary Jen, Jenny, Jane, Janet names. (No offense to people who has these names)

After months of searching, we finally have a second name!

Janelle means God is gracious. 

With everything that I've been through while pregnant; God is indeed gracious to me and to Arriana. It was the perfect second name. Thanks to a batchmate from high school who suggested the name when I was crowd sourcing in facebook.

I pray that Arriana will always live by her name. 
I want her to be reminded that God is gracious no matter what the circumstances are.
I want her to try her best to be holy or to be like Jesus to everyone.


Til next time!

My Birth Story | Baby Number 2



My last preggy photo

March 5, 2016 me and my partner decided to watch a movie in SM Aura. After the movie, we drop by at his friend's house for his birthday Salubong that is already March 6. Everyone was telling me that I might give birth that day. I always answer, "No! I always talk to Arriana and now I tell her she can come out March 8 onwards to give me time to finish some errands"



March 6, 12:00 noon, I woke up with the need to pee as usual but I already saw blood stains. I immediately sent a text message to my OB Dr Joanne saying there's blood. She asked if there's contractions. I answered no. She replied, "If in doubt go to the  hospital na. Then I sent her a photo ( Yes, sorry it may sound gross) but I just want to make sure because with my eldest, I never experienced the blood part just pelvic pain like menstrual cramps. With, I panicked because there's blood yet NO pain at all! My OB asked me to go to the hospital because there's a lot of blood. 

12:49pm, I even managed to sent my OB a message that I am at the hospital already. 

I am very vocal that I am more scared now than my first one. Weird, I know. 

Selfie at 2:10pm
 I was updating everyone by taking a selfie. The nurses keep on asking me my pain scale because contractions are every 3minutes but I am 3cm dilated only. I always answer, no pain.

I even managed to calm down the other girl beside my bed. She is having twins but not yet due yet. 

Selfie at 2:34pm

At 2:42pm they asked me to read and sign procedures etc. Of course, I took a photo of the paper too! 





What I dont like about this is how they internal examine me several times. Yes, I am scared whenever they IE me. And yes, it hurts more than the contractions. 

All these times, JB was outside settling our deposit. 

At 4pm, I was already transferred to the labor room. This was one of my concerns before because with Addy, I never transferred rooms. Everything was done in one room. Here I had to be transferred several times! (Delivery room, Labor Room, Operating room, recovery room and our room) 5 transfers! 

So JB arrived, I think around  4:30pm. There's a television so I can relax. But the contractions are getting stronger. Whenever there's a big one, I hold on to JB super tight. He will ask me a lot of questions: how are you, are you ok, what can I do. I was 6cm dilated at this time. 

Around 5pm, I asked for epidural already because
1. I feel tired cause since 1pm contractions are every 2-4mins on an average. So thats 5 hours already but I felt the pain around 4pm so okay, an hour of 2-3mins pain. 
2. I know I can tolerate the pain. I can manage. But I dont want JB stressing out
3. I thought its still a long way. I even thought I will give birth the next day or around 11pm since I am still on 6cm. With addy, contractions started 6am but I gave birth 10pm. No epidural since I labor at home and went to the hospital when contractions were 3minutes apart and I was fully dilated already at that time. Too late for epidural. 

They asked JB to go out for the epidural procedure. They will insert it through my spine. I even asked if its okay since I have a scoliosis and the doctor said yes. IT WAS PAINFUL!! I was telling them " Mas masakit pa ito than my contractions. Kaya ko contractions" ( this is more painful than my contractions. I can take the pain of my contractions) I was almost crying. 
Finally, when it was over, JB went inside my room again. I felt relax. Okay, so this is how it feels. NUMB. After 30mins, I felt cold. Super ice cold! Epidural gave me chills. They had to put something like a body warmer because I was shivering from head to toe. Then I felt asleep. I was so tired. JB was constantly waking me up! Asking me if I am okay because suddenly I was so sleepy. I keep on answering, " yes, I am ok. Let me sleep because it might be a long day still"

Around 645pm, my OB checked on me. I said NO IE pls! But I think she did! It just that I have epidural already so I did not feel it anymore. Waist down is literally numb! She poked my water bag and she said she will come back after an hour an I am ready to go by then.

7:45pm my OB went back to my room. She checked and she said okay you are fully dilated. She brief me on what will happen. Yes, I have to be transferred again, this time to the operating room. 

Probably around 8pm, I was already in the operating room. Full cast! My OB introduced everyone. Pedia of Arriana was there. My OB, of course. My Anesthesiologist who gave me my epidural was there. Another doctor to assist me with my practice push. Several nurses and of course, JB. 

My OB reminded JB to get ready with the camera for photos. 




Practice Push! 

8:11 Arriana Janelle is out! 

Yes, 1 push, 10 seconds. Whew! 

JB: is it done?
OB: Yes! She is so fast! Very good mommy Ley. 


We performed Unang Yakap (First hug) as they cut her umbilical cord. 
Our Pedia also assisted and initiated Arriana's first latch. Arriana had a good latch! I am a happy mommy! 

We are off to our next transfer! The recovery room. Now JB had to go buy dinner. I am so hungry too! But  I am so excited to announce Arriana's arrival. I am excited to see my mom and Addy! Yehey! Yes, Addy was allowed inside the recovery room wearing his own scrub suit too. (No photo! Cause Kuya doesnt want to) 







Kuya Addy loves his little sister so much! I am happy and sad at the same time. I wish my dad is here with me. But I know he is watching over us!



ADDY'S SIXTH BIRTHDAY LETTER


When I became a mom six years ago today I had no idea. No idea at all what it meant to love someone so much more than you ever thought possible. You made me feefl like the luckiest person on earth. To have such a beautiful and sweet baby boy to love and to watch grow.

And grow you have.

I can’t believe how fast you’ve become such a smart, funny, sweet and special young man.

Thank you for taking care of Mommy whenever I am sick. Thank you for hugging Mommy whenever I get upset. Thank you for loving Mommy. Thank you for understanding whenever mommy says, "next time anak, we have to save money"


Sometimes you may drive me nuts with your silliness.



I can’t help but wish time moved slower. Now, you really don't like it whenever we hug or kiss you. I wish I could bottle your smile and your innocence and have your small hands wrapped in my arms forever. I’m not ready for this.

Six is cool, don’t get me wrong, but it means that when Summer is over you’ll be in First Grade and I won’t have you like I do now. In a blink, we will be there. How can I pause time and fill my well with all these great memories?

you can be remarkably sensitive, and your keen memory for detail serves you well here. You have demonstrated an awareness of what’s going on in a room, with other people, that’s often taken me aback. You have wept for missing friends, places, and stages of your life, your tangible heartbreak seeming to emanate from a much older and more mature person. I have learned the sounds of a tender beating heart when you were willing to give up presents in order to help boys and girls in need. It takes a while to earn your trust, but once that is done it is tenacious and sturdy.


On this very special day, I pray that God’s favor, love, peace, mercy and grace will follow you every single day of your life. You were created to change the world for good and to put a smile on the faces of all mankind. I pray that you will be a solution provider, a source of joy for all and a chronic lover of God. You shall be the head and never the tail. Nations will come to you for solutions to their problems and you will be the pillar they will lean on. They will identify the grace of God on your life.


I promise to put you on the right path to greatness following only God’s plan for your life. Not my plan...God’s plan.


Thank you for being a source of strength to us. You are like a 20 year old stuck in the body of a 6 year old kid. You are not just a son but a great friend. You always make sure there is a smile on my face and even when I scold you for running around inside the house (because you know its a law. No running in the house!) with tears in your eyes, you still do silly things that make me burst into uncontrollable laughter. I am grateful to God for giving me a son like you. 

At just 6 years old, you have already made me a proud mother. When you brought home your certificate of excellence from school as the top student in class, you were scared when you saw tears in my eyes. Addy, those were tears of joy because you are fulfilling all the promises God has made over your life.


Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Never be afraid to fall. But always remember that in every mistake made, there is a lesson to be learnt. Whenever you fall, there must be something you need to pick up from the floor that will help you as you get up and continue your journey through life. In life, you will make mistakes but always make sure that there is a serious lesson learnt from that mistake so you don’t make the same one again. It’s important that you not only learn from your mistakes, but also from the mistakes that others have made.


Value friendship. Good friendship. Never be selfish in your relationship with people. What you cannot tolerate, don’t do to others. Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Learn to say no when you have to say no so you don’t get entangled in commitments that will become a burden to you eventually. Don’t let anybody change the core of who you are. Don’t let circumstances or the world destroy the purity of your heart.

The world is a complicated place to live in. Not because God made it so, but because the humans in it have made it complicated. In all you do, look for the beauty in the world, the honesty and the positive. Living in a complicated and struggling world does not mean you have to struggle and be complicated. Don’t get caught up in their vices. Don’t get involved with the madness around you. Fix your eyes on the positive. Fix your eyes on God. Greatness awaits you Addy. I have seen it. I can feel it. I know it.


When you look back on these words in Twenty years, I need you to know that they are from the heart of a woman who is so proud to be your mother.

Addy, you have touched the lives of everyone around you with your honesty, your purity, your smile and your dance moves. May God never take his eyes off you and may His peace always be with you. Happy Birthday Addy and I love you more than words can ever express.


I am always in your corner, Anak. I’m the loudest cheerleader, the proudest mom, and the one who is always crying over how blessed she knows she is.

Please don’t forget that I’m your favorite girl.


Love,
Mommy Ley
On Father's Day
Being a mother is a tough job, but being a mom and a dad is tougher. I want to take a moment today and say Happy Father’s Day to all the Mothers out there who are Fathers too. You deserve the extra recognition of filling in for two salaries, two parents, and still staying sane (mostly).

This is our 3rd Father’s day of Addy and I am extremely blessed and honored to see my son loved by everyone. The never ending he-is-so-adorable compliments from other people are overwhelming.

Addy, You are the joy of my life. Sometimes I get so very busy that I forget to tell you that. Being a single Mom has its benefits: I get you all to myself. But it also has its down side: I have to work an awful lot of hours to bring home enough money for the two of us to live. Thank you for being patient with me and for understanding.  I thank you for helping shape who I am today. Thank you for teaching me lessons most people do not have to learn in life. Thank you for forcing me to rebuild myself. All of those things are important, great and wonderful, but mostly thank you for being the greatest gift in the entire world. Without you, I will be lost. You are the gift that smiles at me and hugs me every day, the gift that acts crazy and goofy and sings songs at the top of your lungs because you can. I thank you for being my son. I will enjoy watching you become the person I know you can be, and while there will be times it is hard to do it alone, the payoff in the end is worth it, the unfailing love between you and me; a mother and a son.

I want to say a very Happy Father’s Day to all the ‘daddies’ out there. I’m not talking to biological fathers, though some of them are daddies. I’m talking about every man who has held the hand of a child while a needle was getting shoved in their vein at the hospital, or every man who doctored a scraped knee and kissed away tears. I’m talking to every man who has ever read a child a bedtime story and tucked them in at night with a kiss on the forehead and a, “See you in the morning, buddy.”

For me, It doesn’t matter if the child was born of your blood as long as the child resides in your heart– that makes you a daddy.

So if you are a man and if you have children, don’t JUST be a father. Be a daddy. Be a man. A Real Man.


Little girls need someone who will kiss them goodnight.  Little boys need the example of a good man to grow up to be like and admire, someone they can hope to become, live up to.

The world needs fathers for one reason only — to procreate. The world needs daddies though, to make this world a better place, to bring our next generation up differently and better than the one before it, to constantly improve and excel.

But for today, tomorrow and the next after,  I will be stronger.  I will be braver. I will be wiser and tougher. I will be a mom, but most importantly, a dad.
Oh No, It's A Boy!

I was surprised to know that my baby is a boy. Don't get me wrong, I am happy! However, I was pretty convinced that my baby will be a girl. So convinced that I prepared for a baby girl's name (Arriana Laurene) BUT I DO NOT HAVE A NAME FOR A BOY!

During my 9 months of being pregnant, I never had the lihi (cravings or pregnancy symptoms) I never had morning sickness. I never had dark spots. I was blooming. I was happy despite my current situation. So everyone will say, Oh, It's a girl! (ay, babae yan!)

But since it is pretty expensive here in Canada, I decided not to know the gender in advance. So here I am, surprised by my baby's gender.

I have to go home the morning after. Yes, I technically stayed 24 hours in the hospital. I have to think of a name pronto!

My baby boy's name is ADRIAN ENRICO!

Adrian from my Mom Arrian (change the 2nd R to D)
Enrico from my Dad Enrico

There! 

His nickname will be Addy. It was given by my Aunti Pet. Thank you Mama (Lola) Pet for a cutie nickname! see you guys soon when we get back!


xoxo
My Birth Story | Labor Of Love In Winterpeg

After nine months of having a big belly while trying to exercise for easy labor and making the most out of my WINTERpeg expedition (I hate snow guys), borrowing pants from my cousins and trying to eat healthy as possible (add up the diet that I hated because of my gestational diabetes from 4months until the time I am giving birth) Finally, the long wait is over.

Giving birth is the most momentous part of pregnancy, and involves a lot of hard work, energy, and emotion. It needs support from family, friends and of course your partner. (At that time I have my aunties and uncles and some cousins in canada with me; parentals are in the Philippines)

Two weeks before I gave birth, I had brief periods of contractions that grew intense. My doctor said It is normal, it's braxton hicks. It is a sign that I am now ready anytime to give birth.

The night before the real labor, we had our usual Friday family bonding; movie, popcorn, butong pakwan, wine and beer for them. King came over and out of nowhere he just said "You'll give birth if not tomorrow, by Sunday and it will be a boy"

I smiled at him and said, "I hope so, but everyone is saying it will be a girl since nothing changed with my appearance at all" But King just smiled back at me.

Around 12midnight I crawled into bed and read a book until almost one. I had to sleep because I started palpitating   (I have Mitral valve prolapse and Mitral and Tricuspid valve regurgitation, just google the terms cause I dont want to be too medical here haha)

I woke up around 4am because I felt a little pressure, I just thought it's braxton hicks so I went back to sleep. then, I woke up again because I of the pain. I checked the time and it's 4:10am. I realized that this is it, I am in early labor.

I went back to sleep and try not to wake up after 10mins but I did. Right then, I texted my mom and told her I am in my 1st stage of labor already, my contractions are every 10mins apart.

My mom replied and she's worried and nervous as she said. So I told her, not to worry about me and just go back to sleep coz she's in the Philippines and worrying about me can't do anything. I dont want here to worry. (bad decision that I told her too soon)

The contractions continued but it was manageable its just that I wake up EVERY TIME I have contractions. Around 9am I decided to went upstairs since my cousin and aunt is awake already.
I told them "I am in labor!"

I keep on walking and walking but I am just a lazy walker.
I tried climbing on the treadmill but it makes me dizzy.
I tried to get some sleep coz I am really sleepy....(at the back of my mind, I wanted to call King! he's right...I am giving birth anytime and he's nowhere to be found ZzzzZZZzzz)

I worked through each contraction by closing my eyes and focusing on the end result: My Baby.
If it's a big or intense contraction, I hold tight to a pillow and breathe. I still manage to keep track how many mins apart my contractions was.

With Kirsten's help, we were able to record all my contractions. If it's a big contraction Kirsten will let me hold her tight (sorry cousin for the scratches) I remember her saying "Ate this isn't my job you know, but I do love you" 

Around 5pm my aunt, uncle and cousin decided to go to church since it's Saturday (Yes, we go to mass every Saturday here)

As soon as they left, I took a shower in case I will deliver my baby At least, I was able to take a shower. Take note that contractions are every 5 minutes already.

Since I am home alone with our doggie Mikko, I decided to call Tita Hazel and I told her I am having contractions every 5mins and she said loudly, "What! You should go to the hospital already crazy lady! Are you crazzzzyy?" then she shouted, "Ate Ely, Ley is in labor and contractions are every 5 minutes already and she's still home!" "Call 911 hurry"

Before everybody in their house freaks out, I told her it's just me and mikko who's home and it's okay coz they will be home soon (Nope, don't want to pay 911, I can still take it) and the pain is a bit manageable still. Although at the back of my mind, If I am in the Philippines.... I am in Makati Medical Hospital already. (hahaha)

After I spoke to Tita Hazel I had a big contraction and I just shouted "MOOOOOOMMM"
then Miko started howling, I think he's trying to get some help coz he knows I am in pain. Miko keeps on howling from time to time whenever I hold onto something tightly because of the contractions.

Around 6:15 my aunt arrived already I told her my contractions are every 5-4mins apart.
Then she observed me, she said, "You're not going to give birth anytime soon cause you can still take the pain, you might counted the minutes wrong. Look at you, you're not crying at all"  But despite that comment, I know it's soon.

Around 8pm my contractions we're 3 minutes apart but like what my aunt said I can still take the pain, I just close my eyes, hold tight to a pillow and breathe. A few mins later, My Auntie from the states called, I told her I am currently in labor with 3mins contractions apart. She said,"You should go to the hospital already because you might give birth anytime, even if you can take the pain, you need to be checked cause you don't know how many CM are you now"

So we Mama Dina monitored my contractions then we decided we will go to the hospital alreadycause YES, it is every 3 minutes apart.

Around 8:30 we left the house, we arrived at the hospital around 8:45pm. In the admitting section the lady asked few questions;
Name
Address
Landline number
Copy of my passport
What the hell am I doing in Canada?
Why am I giving birth there?
She told me I have to pay for everything coz I am considered as a foreign patient..etc...etc....so on and so on. I just want to tell her that baby is coming out really, really, soon.

Then we went to the triage already. The nurse checked my blood pressure and how far I am.
She said, "OH MY! you're 10cm already"

My Aunt and I were shocked coz I am fully dilated already. At the back of my mind, I was scared, If I stayed any longer at home I could have given birth at home! Just like what my cousin Amiel wants to happen since he is a paramedic he wants me to be his patient but like King he is nowhere to be found as well. (hahaha)

They brought me upstairs in my labor/delivery/private room.
The nurses had to be fast. They check the heartbeat of my baby, my heartbeat, my sugar level and my blood pressure. Baby is okay. But I am not. My sugar is very high as well as my blood pressure. I thought I will deliver my baby in cesarean section, but they said I can have it delivered normally since I am fully dilated already, but now it's too late for an epidural. Great! No anesthesia but do I really need it still? Cause I manage the labor part which most of the people say the hardest part.

At that point, I am having severe back pain since I have scoliosis so the nurse decided to put a warm compress on my back and it helped a lot.  After a few mins, my contractions was every 2mins, EVERYTHING BECAME INTOLERABLE.

The hustle and bustle of the nursing staff bothered me -- I wanted complete silence. "QUIET," I said. "You're doing great," replied the nurse. (imagine, I have 3 nurses in the room, plus Kirsten, Ate Michelle, Auntie Dina and Auntie Dhel. Papa Caloy and Kuya Geoff were just by the door. Oh My)

Around 10pm I can feel the urge to push. I asked the nurse, Where's the doctor? The nurses replied, "She will only come if you're crowning already"

Unbelievable, but I can feel my baby's head is down already.

The nurse asked if I wanted some pain reliever and I said No, I was able to bare the pain and I want to experience this the natural way.

She went out to get some stuff. Since I do really feel the urge to push and I cant take the pain anymore, I buzz them and told the nurses outside that I am having the baby soon.

They all hurried inside my room. The nurse decided to check me again since baby is not crowning and may water bag is still intact. Then she said "Oh, I can feel the head, it's sideways that's why she's not crowning" then accidentally she popped my waterbag.

The nurses told me to push only when there's contractions and so I followed them. One nurse checked my blood pressure and it went up to 150/90 so she decided to put IV on me. At the back of my mind, I knew something is wrong with my BP and if I am in the Philippines, I will deliver my baby in the C-section, but I tried my best to remain calm as possible. I prayed hard while pushing. I just thought soon this will be all over. as my baby's head crowns, the doctor came in, while she's putting on her gloves I had a big contraction so I pushed so hard and I really blurted out I can feel I am ripping then my baby's head is out already.

No time for my Doctor to put on her second gloves and they all shouted "stop pushing" and since I'm not fully lying down, hmmm , how do I call the position? Semi-seated/ semi lying position, I looked down, my baby's head is out already and the umbilical cord is wrapped around my baby's neck. The doctor had to remove the umbilical cord as fast as she can. (No wonder, my baby is sooo likot inside my tummy)

10:45pm, February 7, 2009 Canada time, my baby is out and IT'S A BOY! We are all surprised!!
I cried! I can;t contain my happiness! It was so surreal!

He cried for 3 seconds and as soon as he reached my chest, he stopped crying. I cried again. Finally, 9 months is over. I can be with my love, my baby boy..

Despite the tear jerking moment, I even had the chance to laugh and say King was right! I gave birth on the day he said I will and it is a boy. Now he should be a ninong.

I FELL IN LOVE THE MINUTE I SAW HIM.. The pain disappeared and I was so relieved to have him in my arms. I couldn't stop smiling. HE WAS PERFECT! He was even MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN I IMAGINED.

SADLY, MY PARENTS CAN JUST SEE HIM THROUGH PICTURES...
Sadly, I have to face this battle alone with my baby.

As I held him, the nurses and doctor had to stitched me but at that moment I can feel no pain anymore. One doctor is checking my baby's vitals while I held him close.

The doctor and nurses kept saying they were amazed because he was my first and the birth happened so fast. I was amazed I did it without drugs or any other Anesthesia. I didn't think I was capable of that. When the doctor offered me Percocet, I laughed. What? Do I need that for now?

The next day, 10AM, we were home already! As if I had a drive thru or fast food delivery but with a baby!

Next time, I will have more faith in myself. If I can have a natural, unmedicated childbirth, I can do anything. Women should have faith in themselves. Our bodies are amazing and can do anything. I have respect for all women who give birth no matter what their circumstances. Pregnancy and childbirth is an amazing thing.

Now, after a few months of having my Adrian home, I just thought that I can do everything now. I can surpass any trials that will come along our way. I was able to do it during my 18hour labor without pain reliever.

I HAD MY LABOR AT HOME, NO ANESTHESIA, MY PARENTS ARE NOT WITH ME. I AM A SINGLE PARENT. WHAT ELSE COULD MAKE IT HARDER? But you know why it was so easy? Because God is with me.


I SURVIVED THE BIRTH PROCESS, MY HEART DISEASES AND THE CRAZY GESTATIONAL DIABETES! Add up the weather! It was freezing 45 degrees when I gave birth. Hate Winnipeg weather!

I never realized, I could die at that moment. My life was at stake. but it was all WORTH IT